Robots Do the Work

Robots do the work, not people ©.

A couple of weeks ago, LinkedIn logged me out on every device. After I entered my username, password and MFA code, it asked me to complete a quick test to prove I was human and provide my phone number for verification. But the text message never arrived: the soulless system said I had exceeded the maximum number of attempts and should try again on another date.

Several people told me that my LinkedIn account had vanished without a trace.

I scoured every part of LinkedIn available to a logged-out user, trying to find some way of contacting them—all in vain. I asked my daughter to write to them so that I could at least understand what had happened. She eventually found a well-hidden form, sent a message and immediately received an automated response along the lines of: “Third parties cannot resolve other people’s problems because of privacy. The person concerned should submit a request on this page. Thank you for contacting us; case closed.”

I could not “submit a request on this page” because accessing the page required me to log in to LinkedIn. And, as you may recall, I could not do that.

I emailed the address that had sent my daughter the automated response. I immediately received a rejection along the lines of: “This address is only used for correspondence about existing cases. To open a case, submit a request on this page. Thank you for contacting us.” I could not open a case because—well, you understand…

In short, it was the classic situation from the 1990s: the driver for the CD-ROM drive (network card, floppy drive) is stored on the CD-ROM (network drive, floppy disk). LinkedIn’s version was this: to resolve login problems, log in.

A couple of days ago, that elusive “another date” apparently arrived. I managed to receive the text message, after which LinkedIn used the third-party service Persona to verify my identity. I turned my face in front of the camera and scanned my passport. The service confirmed that I was a real person and that my details—full name, photo and country—matched the information in my profile, then passed the result to LinkedIn.

LinkedIn sent me an email saying that they had received my second(?) request and, out of the goodness of their hearts, would give me a second(?) chance: they would check whether I had broken any of their rules. The next day, another email arrived saying that all restrictions had been removed from my account. They also advised me to keep my profile up to date. Really?

I still do not know exactly why I was banned.

P.S. Thank you to everyone who worried about the fate of my LinkedIn account and helped me prove to the soulless robots that I am not a robot.